To Love Again
by blakes8th
Summary: This is something new.


To Love Again

Disclaimer: New Tricks + Characters = Not Mine

Rating; M

Pairing: Something new...

I don't think this has been done before, I'm a bit nervous bout this one. Let's see what happens.

/

"How's she doing?"

Gerry looked up as Steve perched on the edge of his desk, he looked towards the office where they could see the lady in question through the glass. She was sitting at her desk, she appeared to be looking at her computer, but the men could tell that she was actually just staring into space, lost in her own thoughts. The vibrancy had gone out of her over the last few months and the three men in her office were worried.

"You know that she's moved into the final stage of the divorce." Dan interrupted. Steve and Gerry both nodded.

"That shit Ned put the word round that he was going to have a party in the pub to celebrate."

"Did anybody go?" Steve asked. Gerry shrugged.

"No idea, I certainly didn't."

"Heads up, the guv's coming." Steve warned them as the tall figure of Robert Strickland jogged down the stairs. He pushed the door open, and immediately picked up on the atmosphere.

"Anything I can do?" He asked wearily. Gerry shrugged.

"Get Ned 'the knob' transferred to the outer Hebrides." He suggested, the other men smirked. Robert nodded.

"I've already looked into it." He dead panned. Steve stood.

"Sir, the 'do' that Ned threw yesterday, did many people go?"

"I shouldn't think so. DAC Hancock had an unexpected call from the deputy mayors office calling him into a meeting at just before eight o/clock yesterday evening. Turns out it was all a big mix up, but I shouldn't think he got back much before ten." The three others all grinned at each other.

"Was that your doing Sir?" Steve asked, Robert gave them a sly smile.

"I have absolutely no idea what you mean." He nodded towards the office. "She's asked to see me. Any ideas?" The three men all shook their heads. He went to the door and knocked, Sasha jumped slightly as she was jolted out of her daydream. She nodded at him. He went inside and shut the door gently.

"Doesn't sound good." Dan observed. Gerry watched as Sasha closed the blinds.

"Doesn't look good." Steve replied.

"The Guv'nor will sort it out." Gerry assured the others, he just wished he could be as sure himself, he had just got used to Sasha, he didn't want to lose another boss, and friend.

/

"You wanted to see me?" Robert asked, watching as Sasha closed the blinds. She nodded and took a deep breath.

"I know I haven't been at my best recently..." She began, Robert interrupted.

"That's understandable..."

"But I don't see things getting any better. Ned is stationed here. He seems to be everywhere I go. He heads up some of the departments we have to deal with, and to be honest, I can't handle it. I feel like I'm on show and everyone is laughing at me. I need to get away."

"A transfer?"

"Yes Sir..."

"Sasha, drop the Sir. Please call me Robert." He sighed. Sasha smiled.

"Thank you. I know this will cause you problems, the unit has just got used to me, to change leadership again will be hard I know, but I can't cope with this any more."

"Sasha, can I ask you something personal?" He asked, she nodded. "Do you blame yourself?" She looked startled. He stood and walked to the window.

"I've been where you are now."

"Did your wife cheat?"

"Oh yes, I've certainly got that particular T-shirt. In various colours. And after the initial anger and feelings of betrayal start to wear off, you start to wonder what you did to make them look elsewhere. How you could have been better." Sasha felt several tears roll down her cheeks. He had hit the nail square on the head.

"The truth is, Ned is an idiot, he didn't appreciate how lucky he was, and now he's bitter about it. He's lashing out at you because he knows that he was a total arse and he's thrown away the best thing in his life." He wandered up to her and gathered her into his arms, allowing her to cry into his chest. He knew it was what she needed, to let go and let somebody be strong for her. "Don't make any snap decisions, just take things slowly. The boys out there are in your corner, let them help." She pulled away, slightly embarrassed.

"Thank you." She whispered, she saw the damp patch on his suit jacket. "Oh lord. Look at the mess I've made of your suit." he smiled.

"Don't worry, that will dry." He picked up a sheet of paper and wrote on it. "That's my home phone number. Any time you need a friendly shoulder, just call me." He told her. He smiled and left the office, nodding at the guys as he passed them. Sasha emerged from her office. Gerry noticed her red eyes.

"You alright Guv?" She nodded.

"Yeah, not brilliant, but with a little help I'll get there." She assured him. "Now, where are we on the case?"...

/

_Several days later..._

It was valentines day, not a day that Robert tended to celebrate much now. He sat at home, flicking through the television channels, looking for something to catch his eye. Suddenly his phone rang, he picked it up.

"Hello?" He answered. He heard the faint sound of crying coming from the other end. "Hello, who's there?"

"It's me Sir. You said any time, but if it's not convenient..."

"Sasha? No it's fine, are you alright?"

"No...Ned turned up. He...he..."

"Hold on, I'll be there in fifteen minutes." He hung up and was soon in his car heading towards Sasha's house. He must have broken several traffic laws because he was pulling into her drive within the fifteen minute window. He knocked at her door, waiting impatiently for it to open, he didn't know why he felt so protective of Sasha, god knows she could handle herself, but her situation had felt all to familiar to him, and he had found himself wanting to ease her pain, any way he could. He came back to the hear and now as the door creaked open. He entered and was shocked to see Sasha sporting a black eye and split lip. He gently cupped her chin and turned her face to the light, he winced at the damage.

"Ned did this?" He whispered. Sasha nodded.

"He turned up with a bunch of flowers. He just expected me to forget everything that has happened, when I told him I wanted him out of my life, he lashed out. I've never seen him like that. He went outside, I think he may still be in the garden. Robert, I'm sorry I called you, but I didn't know who else..."

"Shhh, it's okay. I told you..." He stopped as he heard the back door open.

"Sash! Come on, be reasonable. We had a good thing. Me and Jasmine, it was a bit of fun, anyway, we've split up. Stop being so bloody stubborn and let me show you what you've been missing." The voice was slurred, Ned Hancock came into view. He stopped as he saw Robert standing with his soon to be ex wife. He was obviously drunk, and his face turned to thunder.

"So that's why you didn't want to let me in, you're already screwing your way to the next promotion." He sneered. Sasha lost her temper.

"So what if I am!, At least I waited until I was no longer married. Get out Ned, you chose this."

"Why you bitch." He moved as if to hit her again, but was stopped when his arm was grabbed and he was pinned against the kitchen wall. Robert put his other hand on Ned's throat and looked him in the face, his eyes full of fury. The bluster went out of Ned and he started to tremble, like all bullies, he didn't like it when someone stood up to him.

"Get the fuck out, and don't come back unless you're sober." Robert hissed.

"Jas has kicked me out, I haven't got anywhere.."

"Your problem. If you are that desperate, use one of the numerous hotels you are so fond of. Now, get lost before I call for back up and you get a free bed in one of the cells." He let the man go, and he stumbled out of the front door. Robert watched to make sure he had actually left before turning and shutting the door and gathering the shaken woman into his arms.

"Hey, It's alright, it's okay." He held her as she completely broke down, she clung to him, unable to support her own weight. She was broken, her world shattered. She felt herself being led into another room, Robert gently sat her down on the sofa, she curled her legs up and hugged her knees. He pulled the throw off the back and wrapped it around her.

"Sasha." His voice was soft as he tried to get her attention. "Sasha." She looked at him, her eyes red and puffy. "I'm going to get you a cup of tea, I'll be back soon. Okay?" She nodded. She felt cold as he left, but true to his word, he was back within minutes. He put the mug in her hands. "Here, It's not too hot." She took a few sips and felt the warm, sweet liquid running down into her stomach. She looked up into his concerned face.

"Thank you." She whispered. He smiled.

"No problem." He looked at the fragile woman in front of him. "Where are you?" She stared at him puzzled.

"What do you mean?"

"Where is Sasha Miller, where is the bold as brass, gutsy police officer who can strike fear into the hardest so10 officer. Where is the lady who walked into that office and flawlessly filled the shoes of one of the greatest officers I have ever worked with. Where is that woman?"

"I don't think she exists, she was built on a lie, and now everything is falling apart around her and she doesn't know who she is any more." She felt a damp cloth against her mouth as Robert started to clean away the blood from the split lip.

"She does exist. You built this, your family, your career. Everything here is as much you as him. He was the one who decided he preferred the company of a brainless bimbo. Some men are threatened by a successful woman."

"Are you?" He paused for a second.

"No, I'm not, I like a woman to be able to think for herself." He told her. He sat on the sofa next to her. She reached over and took his hand in hers, she turned it over tracing the lines on his palm with her fingers. He shifted uncomfortably. "Sasha, I..."

"I need to know..."

"Need to know what?" She wouldn't meet his eyes, she focused on his hand.

"I need to know that it wasn't me, that he didn't look elsewhere because I wasn't good enough any more... I mean, I'm forty three, she isn't even thirty.."

She trailed off as he pulled his hand out of hers, then looked up surprise as he brushed the blonde hair away from her face, his other hand cupped her chin, gently lifting her face. She had worked with him for just over four months now, but she had never seen him with such a gentle look on his features, they had flirted a bit, and he had a magnetism and charm about him, but not until this moment had she seen how expressive his deep blue were. He smiled gently.

"Sasha, you are an incredibly beautiful woman, never doubt that."

She didn't know if she was imagining it but his voice had deepened and had an edge to it, she couldn't stop herself, she leaned forward and pressed her mouth against his. For a moment there was no response, then he began to tentatively kiss her back. Eventually, he pulled away.

"Sasha, we have to stop."

"Why?"

"Because... Well I don't... I mean..." He stuttered. She smiled softly. He took a breath. "I don't do casual relationships. I can't be what you need."

"How do you know what I need?" She asked, he looked down shyly.

"As I said, You are an amazing woman, you could pick any man you want, why would you want me, I mean..I'm the wrong side of fifty for a start..."

"You told me age doesn't matter."

"This is different, you deserve better than me..."

"I want someone who knows me, who has seen me at my lowest and still wants to be here, I want to give myself to someone who knows what it means. And at this moment, that is you."

"What about later, when you start to think things through?" She paused for a moment.

"I don't know. But I know that I really want you to kiss me again." She moved in close and captured his lips again, he responded more quickly this time, his resolve weakening he poured all his passion back at her, making her breathless, she pulled away and smiled. "Wow!" Was all she could say, he smiled and pulled her gently into his arms, capturing her lips again. His mind was screaming at him to stop, that this was foolish and they would both end up getting hurt, but a small but insistent voice was asking him what waiting had got him so far, how many women had shown him any interest in the last few years, and that he should seize this moment. He realised that if this was just a one night thing, then he had better make it a night to remember, for this one brief evening, he could leave the loneliness of his existence behind. He felt her fingers start at the buttons of his shirt, and pulled away. He smiled, re-assuring her.

"Not here, I'm not going to screw you on this sofa like some impatient teenager. If we are going to do this, then we are going to do it properly." Sasha smiled and took his hand, she led him through her house and up the stairs, pausing now and again for more kisses, leaving a trail of discarded clothing behind them until they eventually reached her bedroom. They tumbled onto the bed, removing the last vestiges of their clothing, hands wandering, exploring each other, both lost in the passion, until a while later they lay side by side, breathless, hearts racing. Robert wrapped his arms around her as she snuggled against his chest, both falling into a deep sleep.

/

Sasha opened her eyes, squinting at the early morning light. The events of the previous evening came flooding back to her. Her lip was sore, and she could tell that her eye was swollen, but all she could focus on was the strong arms which were wrapped around her, and the hand which rested on her stomach. She could feel his breath on the back of her neck and couldn't help smile. This felt right, it felt good. She shifted slightly as his breathing changed.

"Morning." She whispered. He brushed his hand softly across her belly.

"A good one?" He asked, she could hear the nervous tone in his voice.

"One of the best ever." She confirmed, she turned so that she was facing him. He gave her a warm bright smile which melted her heart. "I want to wake up like this every morning."

"As much as I am enjoying this, we have to go to work." He reminded her.

"I know." She moaned, snuggling closer to him, her head resting on his shoulder. "Five minutes more?"

"I don't think that will hurt." She heard him whisper as he laid a soft kiss on her forehead. He pulled the duvet up to cover her back and sighed as she relaxed against him.

"Robert?"

"Hmmmm?"

"You said last night that I deserved someone better than you, but you know what."

"What?"

"I don't want anyone 'better'. I want you."

/

Author's note: I could be persuaded to write a short epilogue where Ned gets what is coming to him, let me know who's interested. Xxx S.


End file.
